Divorce is one of the most challenging phases a person faces in their life. Vowing to spend your life with someone and ending up being total strangers is hard to take in. What’s more difficult is to find love after divorce. It’s easier said than done. One has to go past the heartbreak and mental trauma to move on in life. It might take ages for people to move on from someone whom they once married. Once you reach the redemption point, you would want to spread your wings high in the sky. You might want to date and fall in love once again. The only problem is; you have forgotten how it feels to date. Or you might find it tough to approach a person because of the “divorce” tag labeled onto you, and thus you feel self-conscious. But we have got your back! So, we have decided to give you some tips for dating after divorce that will kick start your dating game.
Time for you to reflect on your past. Yes, it will feel excruciatingly painful for you, but you need to accept and embrace your history. Tell yourself that it’s okay that the separation happened. Now that you have accepted your past, it’s time to think about what went wrong in the marriage. Was it your fault or your ex’s that led to the divorce? Take note about which qualities you used to like in your ex and which made you uncomfortable. You need to take time while reflecting because you can’t get answers at a go. List every trait you like and dislike about yourself. If you still find it difficult to reflect, then don’t rush into dating because chance is you will end up going through circles of making the same mistakes over and over.
2. Don’t Generalize
I get it, your ex blew your heart into smithereens when they announced that they want a divorce. What’s worse was, it wasn’t even your fault. And the reflection made you resent. In fact, you are so angry and disappointed at both your ex-spouse and yourself that you started seeing every opposite gender in the same shade. That’s generalizing. There are billions of people in the world, and surely not everyone is an asshole. You need to be rational and not think that every man or woman is bad even though you have only encountered the worst kinds in your life. You need to be optimistic and rational for things to work in your favor.
3. Be Optimistic but Not Blind
The stuff I am going to say now will be slightly opposite than what I said earlier, and there’s a reason. You have undoubtedly heard the phrase, “Excess of anything is bad.” What I meant by excess is be optimistic that not all people are bad, but – hear me out! Just because you are positive about the notion about people not being wrong doesn’t mean you would unseen the red flags while you date someone. For example, your ex-spouse wasn’t emotionally attached to you and that you’d find them uncaring. But now you are dating someone too caring that they cling onto you. See my point? Being clingy isn’t caring; it’s an obsessiveness. Obsessiveness is always considered as a red flag in relationships. While you are finding it cute because you had been deprived of your previous spouse’s caring side, you will eventually realize that that’s not healthy. So, never ignore the relationship red-flags.
Getting over a divorce and starting things all over isn’t easy. But you have to start somewhere. Think of your previous marriage as a milestone in your journey and move forward. Give life and love a second chance getting help from the above online dating tips.